Nursery Days Gone for Abigail

Bill just received a call from one of the workers at our church wishing Abigail a Happy Birthday and telling him that Abigail will be moving into Children's Church. She missed her last day in the nursery yesterday because we had a party at the house for her. I am glad I didn't get the call because I probably would have cried. My little girl is growing so fast!

Up and About

Abigail was so sweet last night going to bed. She was playing with her hair and singing. It sounded a little like the happy birthday song but modified. Just a few more days and my baby will be 2!

Poor things has been waking up at 3:30AM screaming and trying to get out of bed. It's difficult to calm her, not sure what is going on. Maybe molars. I had to take Madison downstairs as I got ready for work as Bill put Abigail back to sleep. Not easy days for us. We get a couple of hours of sleep here and there throughout the night. It's just a season but it sure gets hard to function like this.

Madison has a GI appointment today. Praying all goes well and she gives us some guidance rather than the flip answers we usually get. I think doctors forget their patients and families have feelings and aren't just another case.

I am excited about Abigail's party! We decided on the horse theme last minute. It has been a toss up between a boat theme or horse theme. Given that she was asking every day, multiple times a day for horses Bill suggested I change the theme. Good thing I had some ideas because switching games and custom decorations and invites can be a challenge. I am no where near completion and we are having it at the house due to a number of reasons. It's right after Thanksgiving and bookings are slim. We use to do our parties at the church but just this past month they stopped. It was great because it was a great way to get people to church who other wise wouldn't take the invite. Anyway, we are having it at home and had to scale the party way down. We would love to invite everyone! So many have shared in this past years journey with us and we consider these special days true celebrations and want to share it with all that have supported us.

More to come, I have to get ready for work and try to do a few party things.

Amazing Heart Sounds

Yesterday (Friday) Madison had an appointment with a physician who has a heart for children with downs syndrome. We initially met him back in March. He is more of a resource than anything else and we don't meet with him often. He thought Madison was doing great. He was very impressed with her social skills. From his quick exam he felt that she was meeting milestones of a 6 to 7 month old. He told me that it usually correlates to how long they were in the hospital. I disagreed with him on where she was at milestone wise, as I told him she is sitting up on her own, rolls over, crawls backwards, reaching, grabbing things, trying to stand if you give her right environment for it,  etc... He didn't see much of this because it's kind of hard to do on a small exam table. None the less, he was impressed. He also said she probably won't walk until the age of 2 and will eventually have issues with a lot of changes. We shall see what God has in store. :-)

 He asked if I wanted to hear her heartbeat. I eagerly said yes and took the stethoscope from him. I always forget I have one at home and can listen at anytime. I bought it when I became licensed as an EMT (didn't renew my license) and we use to use it when I was pregnant to hear the girls. :-) What better purpose. :-) Back to that amazing beautiful sound....at first I just heard a "regular heartbeat" that is such a beautiful sound, then he gradually moved the scope and I heard the "swish, swish, swish...." I think my heart stopped and I said "ohhhhh" with concern knowing that was the leaking valves I could hear. We know the valves are leaking and the leaks have increased but when you hear it and see it on the echo...gulp. As I've said so many times before. Someone may look amazing on the outside but inside may be broken. That goes for physical and emotional. Little Miss Madison is no different. We frequently get comments from strangers, friends, and family that she looks great and doesn't look sick. We totally agree and would think the same if we didn't care for her daily, and every time we change her diaper or her clothes are reminded by seeing her scars on her chest and stomach. Let alone administering her medications, caring for her with a feeding tube, and comforting when she throws up until she is exhausted. Don't be deceived by looks, you never know what is going on in someones life or inside their amazing and wonderfully made body!

No doubt, Little Miss Madison is a true gift as is her big Sister Abigail. Both are miracles, some day I'll share more on that. To God be all the glory!

Changes...

Bill texted me early in the morning and told me that Abigail was making her own egg. She insisted, obviously with assistance. She whipped up the egg and on the stove it went. Proud of her. She has such an eagerness to learn and to help.

Last week she was making cupcakes (in her little play oven) and had her oven mitt on and was bringing  over the finished product to Madison and kept saying "hot hot". She brings much needed laughter into our home.

Madison is doing amazing at sitting up and grabbing things! Her favorite toy is still her mickey extension! Her fine motor skills are awesome! She has gotten so good the last couple of days at reaching and picking up things over and over again. Bringing it all to mouth of course. :-) She has a little pail she loves to empty that are full of different shapes and stuffed animals. Lots of different textures. The past couple of days she has been into papers. I was holding her and sitting near the fridge and she grabbed the paper off the fridge. Sitting on the floor going through the mail she reached over and wanted to see what it was all about so took it out of my hand! :-) You go Madison!

Madison has been sleeping in her crib. The first few nights were fine, but now she is up every hour. It's really hard when you don't get any sleep. I had to take a day off this week because my hands were shaking, couldn't see straight, I didn't want to drive and I just couldn't think.Praying this sleep deprivation for all of us is a short season.

They are both sweethearts!

Big changes coming again to the Hanson household. Bill is returning to work on November 26th. We had to lay off our employee. A great guy who has a wonderful family. It's heart breaking having to do that. This economy is just crushing us as a family and nation. I was finally getting into a routine and now big changes. I pray both Abigail and Madison do well. Abigail struggles with changes. I will return to part time for 5 months starting November 28th. Bill's Mom will watch the girls 2 days and praying Bill comes home early so he can take over and it won't be full days for her. Very much appreciate the help! Neither one of us saw this coming. Praying this country turns around and goes back to Christ and families can achieve the "American Dream".

My Birthday

So far the perfect gift was seeing Madison smile and giggle in her sleep when I was giving her, her morning medications. This is a photo from about a month ago. I thought it was cure so included it here!

When I was trying to get Abigail to nap she kept going to this little pillow that I put in the center of all the other pillows when it is made that has a rainbow on it. Throughout the years when I've gone through difficult times the Lord would always show me rainbows in the sky even when you wouldn't expect them to appear. Anyway it's always of God's promises and comforts me when I see them because it serves as a reminder that God has me right where He wants me and is my strength.  Anyway, a long winded explanation of my next point. Abigail kept saying "Mainmoe" = rainbow. :-)

Still much more to write about this day....stay tuned. 

Seasons come and go...

All I can say is that this has been such a difficult season. I find myself filled with such different emotions and honestly beyond stressed if that is possible. I am not a huge one for lots of changes but yet that's all that seems to be coming our way. It's been a challenging few weeks for many reasons. You start to feel like a punching bag with things coming at you and you can't even come up for air or feel like you have the strength or time to punch back.

Lord, thank you for my girls who bring the simplest joy to my life and warm my heart. Today Abigail and Madison were playing together as Bill started dinner and I put stuff away from the store. I kept poking my head in and just watching them, they didn't know I was there. Precious times. Abigail was teaching Madison what a plate was and showing her items from her picnic set and naming the items for her. Madison was smiling ear to ear loving every bit of her play time with big sister Abigail! I pray they always adore each other like this.

Abigail made brownies for the first time tonight! Immediately she took charge and reached for the bag of brownie mix and poured it in the bowl! I let her put the water in and stir, but she got all excited when the eggs came out! She must watch Bill make her eggs because she was trying to crack them and shake the egg in the bowl! Together we did the rest but she most definitely is a natural and approaches everything she does with such concentration and perfection! Most definitely a melancholy with a love language of quality time!

Tonight as we were enjoying the brownies (homemade by Abigail) I started to cry. I think just everything is a bit overwhelming and I've reached my capacity to contain it all. We have many changes coming this month and another heart surgery in the near future (unless God chooses to miraculously heal Madison Grace). Abigail was looking at Bill and Bill said "sad, Mommy is sad" so Abigail said "sad" and wipes the tears from my face with a sad face of her own. She is such a loving, sweet little girl. My pumpkin munchkin! It just makes me think of this precious child who is Christ's hand extended wiping the tears from my face. I just need to give it all to him. I can't control any of this from our business issues that keep popping up, my job, being a Mom, wife, my sweet Madison who has health issues. Lord I just lay it at your feet because I most certainly can't do it on my own! Just when we thought things were settling down and getting into a routine, it's like a whirlwind of "things" just happened. For example in just 4 days (and this doesn't include the past month of events with news from the cardiologist, a major account moving out of our area--greatly effecting our income, and so much more) our fridge dies (less than 12 hours before hurricane Sandy) and we need Madison's medications refrigerated and my milk for her, 2 of our trees hit our neighbors SUV during the storm smashing the windshield and damaging the hood pretty bad (thankfully no one was hurt), on our way to get the chain saw from a friends our 2011 minivan dies on the highway (thankfully we made it to the side of the highway safely). As we wait for AAA Abigail throws up. Poor thing, never throws up! The next day Bill slices his thumb to the bone while putting the crib together! We get more news about some accounts that may be switching companies, again greatly effecting our income! I can't seem to find my USB that has all our financial reports that I created to help us talk things through (hours and hours of work) along with some party planning stuff for Abigail's party. Just adding fuel to the fire and stress.

My little joys! As I was shopping at BJ's Bill sent me a text of Abigail (see below). The caption was "Hi  mommy. Daddy said not to get off the bed. So I was having a fit and testing if he meant it. So I passed out with my feet and legs hanging off the bed."

While Abigail was napping, Bill got a few pictures of Madison for me. What a sweetheart she is! She is making new noises and is sitting up so tall on her own. Her favorite toy is her g-tube mickey extension  She loves to try to pull it out! YIKES! :-) Today she did incredible at crawling backwards. Got very far even being hooked up to her feeding tube! She definitely is learning that if she cries she can get attention. She will start to cry and as soon as you come near, all smiles and if you pick her up watch out she gets really excited and attacks your face with wet kisses!


Lord, I lay it all at your feet because I am just speechless and so need you! I bumped into several people that I knew at BJs today which was kind of funny. I took the day off from work because we were suppose to visit family in NY to meet Madison. But it was canceled and we figured we'd try to get some things in order before Bill returns to work and I go back to part time for a little bit. Still not sure when this is happening but this month for sure. The last person I bumped into in the parking lot was a dear friend who knew me when I was taking care of my Grandmother who had dementia. Before parting she gave me a huge hug and I just didn't want to let go and just kept weeping. She just hugged me and said "I know you've been through a lot. It was probably all preparation for where you are today." All I could do was cry. She understood, she didn't preach at me or lecture me...just understood and hugged me. I am not a big touch feely person but her hug and the hug of my girls just helps me right now.

Madison Grace 9 Months Old Today

Happy 9 Months Miss. Madison Grace! Thank you Lord for this day! What a pure joy Madison is to our lives. She most certainly is an amazing little girl and has touched so many lives in these 9 months especially ours (Bill, Abigail, and me).

Madison you have the sweetest disposition and have such a joy and zest for life that is contagious. Your smiles and giggles warm the hearts of those watching. I know it does me! Those beautiful big brown eyes that look right into who ever is looking at you with such love and understanding. You are an amazing little girl and the name Madison Grace (strong fighter, favor of God) suits you well my daughter. I am proud to be your Mom! There is nothing that brings me more joy than holding you and Abigail. It is like the world all around me is not present and I can just bask in the love that God has blessed me with. Your sister doesn't quite like to be held like you but none the less I treasure these times with you girls!

Lord we are honored and privileged that you have chosen us to be Madison and Abigail's parents and raise them and guide guide them to know, serve, and love you with all their hearts! 

My big sister Abigail was putting hats on me so Daddy
snapped a picture for Mommy!

Playing in the car seat while waiting for Mommy and
Daddy to get the loaner car.